Don’t wait until your relationship breaks before you do something.
Can relationship problems cause anxiety?
You’re hearing more and more about anxiety and it’s making you anxious. What does this mean?
You are most likely stressed out and when you are stressed out but don’t have a coping mechanism, your stress turns into anxiety.
The answer is “yes”, there is such thing as relationship anxiety, but you can learn how to deal with anxiety from relationship problems before it’s too late!
Studies show that couples wait a minimum of seven years before they go to couples therapy for their issues. What does this mean?
If you’re showing symptoms of anxiety from the thought of your relationship, you may already have an anxiety disorder.
The truth of the matter is, that if you wait too long, you might not be able to help it.
This means that the earlier an intervention is made and the sooner you get help for your relationship anxiety, even if the problems seem small, the better it will become for you.
With that said, here are 8 ways to deal with anxiety when your relationship problems feel too much.
1. Spend time with friends and family
These are the people that support you the most. The next time you are feeling stressed out, give one of them a call.
Instead of talking about what is stressing you out, talk about what you like.
Let them know about the latest podcast you just heard or about the friendly guy you were talking to in the grocery store line.
If you can’t think of anything, then invite them out on a fun adventure, like going for a hike or watching a funny movie.
2. Get enough sleep
Research has found that more sleep equates to happiness. When you don’t get enough sleep you are more forgetful and irritable.
This also affects your work and home life.
Set up a sleep schedule. Try to go to bed at a regular time and get up at a regular time.
But, try not to stress over the sleep schedule. There will be times that it doesn’t work out, and that is alright.
3. Get moving
This means making time to exercise. This is not only good for you physically but it is good for you, emotionally.
Join a gym and take a class. This is a great way to meet new people.
Better yet, hire a personal trainer. This will make a big difference. This will be the best accountability partner you can have.
4. Stop feeling guilty
Why do so many women have a hard time putting themselves first on the list?
You take care of everyone else, it’s time to take care of yourself without feeling guilty.
Don’t apologize for taking care of yourself or setting boundaries. Your family won’t die if you say “no”.
5. Start your day with mindfulness
Every day, I start with 10-15 minutes of mindfulness. This helps me clear my mind and get ready for the day.
Before I started this, I’d always wake up worrying about what I had to do that day and if I would have enough time to get it all done.
Now, I know it’s alright if I don’t get everything done. There is always tomorrow and the next day for that matter.
6. Schedule time slots when you don’t work
You don’t have to have every time slot on your calendar filled with work. This may make you feel more productive, but you aren’t giving yourself a break.
This will definitely lead to burning out in the long run. You can set one up in the morning, the middle of the day and in the evening.
You can start small with 5-10 minutes. When you take this time you can’t work or even think about work.
Go for a walk or just sit and relax. I started this a while ago, and it has changed my life.
I no longer feel fatigued in the middle of the day and I am actually more productive.
7. Take a warm bubble bath
Shut the bathroom door and relax. Leave your cell phone behind. This is a great way for your mind and body to relax.
Try this one after everyone has gone to bed.
That way you won’t be interrupted. Even if it’s 10 minutes, you will reap the benefits. This will also help you have a good night’s sleep.
8. Get outside
Now that it is sun is coming out, you have no excuse. Take in the fresh air and sunshine. Get out into nature.
The outdoors is great for your mental health. Notice the environment you are in. If you see a pretty flower, stop and look at it. Take a picture, if you’d like.
Notice the detail of the bark on the trees or how the squirrels run up and down them.
If there is water around, stop and look at how the sun glistens on the water. You can also ride your bike if you’d like.
Just get outside and stop thinking about work and family. This is a great time to embrace the present.
As a woman, you are told to put others first. You don’t have to take this literally.
When you stop taking care of yourself, you will start to feel resentful. This can lead to burnout. You don’t want to wait until it’s too late.
There are many ways to cope with anxiety and you can start today. See how it goes.
If you find it’s not enough to contact a professional, even if you are ready to call it quits in your relationship, talking with a counselor can help with the process.
You can reflect on where you went wrong and what to do about constant anxiety in your relationships in the future.
Lianne Avila is a Marriage & Family Therapist helping people in San Mateo, CA who are looking to create a life that is happier and more fulfilling. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on Lessons for Love to learn more about her services and expertise.
This article was originally published at Lessons for Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.